One Gift God Gave Me in South Africa

From a journal entry: 7-6-17

Saying bye to my girls

One of the greatest and most valuable gifts God has given me during these years of living here in SA is a theology of pain. It sounds funny I know, but it is one of those diamonds which is formed under the pressure and the dirt and can only be discovered as beautiful later. I think everyone needs a theology of pain, and chances are- you have one, whether you are aware of it or not. You believe something about pain- about who God is in the midst of it and who it makes Him out to be.

I used to fear pain- a lot. Fear kept me from doing many things or saying many things because I was afraid of being hurt- of ending up in some kind of pain, whether of heart or body. I don't feel the same about pain anymore. 

I no longer fear pain as something to run and hide from. The fear has dissipated as God has expanded my heart to see pain differently. He has expanded my heart with the assurance that I will find Him there also...right there, so near- strengthening, comforting and so present with us. Present with us- even in the darkest night, the deepest heartache and the painful, fearful, fallen imperfection. 

Not only is He even there...He is especially near there. His perfect love manifests itself, driving out all fears and revealing Him- God with us. Emanuel -present to us, with us, for us - even in our deepest heartbreak. 

So, we needn't fear pain anymore because even there we may find Him and discover that He is more than enough for us. He is more than enough for us and He is our hope. There in the midst of our brokenness He names Himself Redeemer. 

SISTERHOOD- Monday girls

SISTERHOOD- Tuesday girls

SISTERHOOD- Friday girls

So we breathe in and pray out the words of Job, "I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end He will stand on the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see Him with my own eyes- I and not another. How my heart yearns within me!" And we allow the sweet Holy Spirit to remind us that pain and brokenness was never meant to be the end of the story...and better yet- it won't be. 

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Look! God's dwelling place is now among the people, and He will dwell with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.' He who was seated on the throne said, 'I am making everything new!' Then He said, 'Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.' "

- Revelation 21:3-5

So we lift our hearts and worship our living Redeemer who dwells with us here in the dichotomy of beauty and brokenness. We worship because He came, because He is here and because He is coming...making everything new.