The Beauty of Dependence

 "I need you more- more than yesterday- I need you more- more than words can say- I need you more, than ever before- I need you more- I need you Lord."

       Today I was reflecting on my days in South Africa and the sweet intimacy with Jesus that I enjoyed in such a full measure. My heart longed to feel that nearness once again. I wanted to feel that familiar trust and peace that came from the constant running to Him.
        
        I wondered for a minute, "Why? Why was there such a difference between that time and this?" But, right then I knew what it was: the amount of dependence. In that season I lived in a constant state of recognizing my total insufficiency. I knew I needed Him all the time. When I was afraid or I didn't know what to do (which was quite often) I prayed. When I needed strength, I prayed. When I needed to feel His heart, or know the right words to say, I prayed. When I felt lonely and small and unknown, I prayed and when I was rejoicing, I prayed some more. Because I knew I couldn't do it- that I wasn't enough, I constantly relied on Him and we became tight! I felt I was constantly living, breathing, walking Jesus...It was like being on life support.
        
        So why the difference? Why do I suddenly feel I am enough? Do I think I can do this American life on my own? Because I clearly can't, and when I suddenly try to do it my own, that is when I feel empty and lifeless.
        
        My conclusion is this: there is beauty in dependence. We cannot do life without Jesus- at least we cannot do it well and fully as we were meant to. To experience fullness we need Him at every turn, every moment, in every situation. It is only when we recognize this that we can press into Him and begin to walk as we were meant to: in constant communion and reliance on our beautiful savior. It is like the old hymn says, "I need you more- more than yesterday- I need you more- more than words can say- I need you more, than ever before- I need you more- I need you Lord."

        Will you dive in with me? Into this beautiful dependence? 

        "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:4, 5 ESV)"