When God Stole My Heart

Something I wrote while I was in South Africa: Reflections on what happened when God gave me His heart for the nations...

    For nearly four years I prayed, I waited and I asked Him to give me His heart for this place (South Africa), these people, and this nation. He did. It is as if this is the life He was enlarging my heart to hold.
Being here now, I know that it is not that "Africa stole my heart." It is something so much deeper.

     During the years when I prayed and stumbled around doing my best to walk in obedience, God was preparing my heart. I just did not always see it that way at the time.

     God stole my heart. Then, He put a love for South Africa inside. Next, He began to enlarge my heart -making it bigger and bigger while at the same time, equipping me with exactly the skills I needed. And just at the right time, when He knew everything was ready- He sent me. All the way He provided for me, He protected me and here I am.

     I have walked the roads, I have met the people – and although sometimes it feels like they “stole my heart,” they didn't. God did. So I have to tell of His goodness and love! I saw what He was doing over here and I wanted so much to be a part of it. Now my wildest dreams have come true and I get to be! But the craziest thing about it (that I keep running over in my mind again and again) is this: it is not because of anything I did. It is only all by His grace and His calling...all I did was come.

     I had heard His whisper before. He said, “Who will go? Who will go love my children in the nations? Who will love the ones who have already come to me and the ones who have yet to come?”

     And I said, “I will...”

     It was half terrified, but I guess He heard it.

     He said, “Who will bear my heart?”

     And I said, “God, give me your heart.”

     God broke my heart for the people of South Africa- all of them. He filled it with a love so deep that I can't describe it. But, I guess that is just the nature of the love of God: deep and indescribable.

     So, what did I do in South Africa? Well, I laughed, I sang, I danced, I prayed. I loved people that I had no idea how to love and I got to teach them. I have never been so scared or nervous or felt so unprepared to do anything in my entire life, but I did it anyway. Then I watched as the Spirit of God comforted hearts and revealed truth to His children in a deep way that no one can change. And I was amazed that I got to be a part of it.

     In 2 Corinthians 4:7 Paul talks about having a treasure in clay jars so that it will be clear that all things beautiful and wonderful are from God alone. All the glory goes to Him because the clay jars are simple plain and discard-able on their own. Therefore, all the attention goes to the treasure within.

     I am simply a clay jar. I am on a team of clay jars in a ministry and mission filled with clay jars. But, I and we bear a Great Treasure.

     In everything we look not to what is seen (our own strength and resources) to compel, equip and sustain us, but we look to our God who cannot be seen, yet is greater. “For what can be seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Cor 4:18) And it is He who fills us, sustains us and compels us because it is for Him The Eternal One, that we exist. 

     Here are some more photographs from South Africa. I am particularly missing it today with all of it's beautiful places and the people who are constantly making it more beautiful with their beautiful hearts! I can't wait to be back!