Single
This is a word to all my single
sisters out there, and to my brothers as well. I know that singleness
isn't always easy....okay, I admit it- sometimes it is really hard!
With all the romantic comedies, romance novels, tabloids telling us
about “the latest hot couple” and that kissing couple at the
mall, it can be hard not to feel lonely when you are single.
I've spent many hours of my single
life wondering what it will be like to be married to that husband who
is out there somewhere. I don't think it's wrong to look forward to
the awesome futures God has for us, or to pray for your future
spouse. In fact, I think praying for your future spouse is a great
thing to do when you notice someone with really awesome qualities
(tall, handsome, sweet, and a radical Jesus follower...appealing right?). A friend of mine once suggested to me that when I notice
these things in guys that I know, or come across, that it would be a
good idea to just send up a quick prayer thanking God for blessing
this person with such a great quality and pray that your future
someone will have some of these great qualities too. It is good to
acknowledge your desires, release them to God, and then be able to
move on.
There is a time though, when
daydreaming can become too much and we can become discouraged and
overwhelm ourselves with melodramatic sadness and start to think- “Oh
Lord...have you abandoned me?! Will I stay single forever?” When we
focus too much on the things we do not have (such as a spouse or
significant other) it can cloud our days with discontentment and we
can miss the awesome life of singleness that could be ours.
I have been prayerfully thinking about
writing this for a little while now, because I know that this can be
a heavy topic- it strikes people right at the heart. I know it's true because it is something that I struggled with for years and I am
definitely no master now, but I am learning. I would like to share a little of what I have learned so far in hopes that you can benefit.
To my single friends, I
want you to hear my heart in writing this: it is not to cut you down
in any way, or make you feel like you've been doing a bad job at
being single so far. So many of you that I know have done singleness
beautifully! I only want to encourage you- to let you know that you
are not alone in this and that there is a way to do this really well
and I hope we can learn to do it together (although I know that we
will not do it perfectly). Let's not worry about perfection. Let's do our best, be there for each other, and fall on Jesus when it's lonely.
One day I was on a walk to think,
clear my head and be with Jesus. This subject of singleness came up
(as it seems to every now and again) and I began to think and pray
about it. I believe that my being single in this season is very
purposeful. I bet yours is too. When I say this, I mean that God
wants to do something specific with this season of my life that
perhaps He could not as well do if I weren't the way that I am. He
has not brought anyone into my life just yet and I think He knows
what He is doing.
With that being said, I want to
embrace this season of singleness and live life with Him to full
capacity! I want to see what He has to teach me, and learn it well. I
want to live my days fully and contentedly, instead of wishing them
away so I can get past this single season and onto other things.
In 1st Corinthians chapter 7, Paul talks about singleness and marriage. Honestly, I used to hate this chapter, I really did. When I read it I wished that I could change things because in there is a verse that says, "The one who gets married does well, but the one who stays single does better." The reasoning behind the “Better” is that the one who is single is not worried about the “things of the world” in having to take care of the needs of their spouse or significant other. They can fully focus all of their life and energy on serving God. Paul has a point in here- let's not miss it, friends.
I know that many of us who are single
now will get married one day, and it may not even be too far in the
future. Others of us will remain single. But for now, in this season
let's embrace together this gift of singleness and the freedom that
comes with it. There is a freedom to invest in the friendships that
you have. There is a freedom to pursue God unhindered, and to serve
Him undivided. We have time to invest, and lives ahead of us!
I believe whole-heartedly that
singleness does not have to be second best.
So, what shall we do? I have some
proposals to make. Here are some great things to do with your single
years...fill them up, live them well and don't waste a moment! :
- Go on dates with Jesus. Seriously. I know that it may sound a bit silly, but it's awesome! Do things that you would do for a date, but do it with you and Him.-For example, I love going on walks. When I was dating, I really liked going on walks with my boyfriend. So, I go on a walk with Jesus...it is special and refreshing, like a date!
- Invest in friendships with great people! Spend time getting to know them and encourage them. You will never regret time spent with good friends.
- Serve! Serve in your local church, serve at your youth group, serve by helping with younger kids. Hey, you can even serve by blessing young couples and watching their kids. If you're not a kid person, there are plenty of other options like going to elderly homes, etc.
- Cultivate your prayer life. You need time to be able to do this, and when you have time, spend it sitting at Jesus feet. Prayer changes things. Become a single prayer warrior- it's great!
- Learn! Read good books, take time to study the bible (and I mean really study it...why not?), learn about cultures and countries, play an instrument, cook, learn to ski- anything! This is great because it will benefit you and give you fun stories to share.
- Travel, check out new places near and far. Explore your home city, take a road trip to famous places in your state. Go overseas on a missions trip. Traveling is fun and exciting, and you can meet wonderful new friends you may have never known if you'd stayed home!
These are just some things that I have
found can really make your life full and wonderful! I hope that you
will find the same =) And if you have more suggestions, I'd love to hear them! (Please always feel free to leave comments- I love to hear your thoughts)
In this journey of singleness, know
that you are not alone. I am praying for you, and I hope that however
long your years of singleness may be, that they are filled with
wonderful adventures and falling in love with Jesus. You can do this. We can do this!
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