Overview of the past 2 weeks..
The past 2 weeks have been so good, and very busy, which is why I havn't posted anything recently (please forgive me!). The week of February 11th-15th was our ministry prep week. That week consisted of preparing for our Costa Rica outreach, as well as our in state outreach. We practiced skits we will be performing, as well as getting together worship teams, preparing materials for kids camp, clown skits, bible stories, testimonies, and more. I will try and put up a video of the drama I will be performing in, soon =)
Here are some photo's!
In this drama that we learned (called the Everything Drama) the story plays out as a girl is created by Jesus, and He teaches her of His love for her, His delight in her, and He shows her the wonderful He has prepared for her. She follows in His steps, and is lost in His love..but she follows the temptations the world has to offer, and leaves Jesus to go after other things that she thinks will fulfill her life..such as relationships, money, drinking, cutting, the perfect image, etc. Until she is pushed to the point of suicide, and she throws the gun away and runs after Jesus..and He comes in and saves her!
During ministry prep week, God was teaching me a lot about how real His love for us is..how He loves us so deeply, and is pursuing us even when we are running away from Him, and He's longing for us to come back..His heart breaks when we turn away. AND THIS IS REAL!! He is so real. His love is so real.
He is so awesome!
We also had a week called "Plumbline". That was a rough week, but God was so faithful to show up, and help me be surrendered. He is so gentle with our hearts, and He never gives us anything that is too much for us to take. Though the process of healing and vulnerability may be so painful and scary, the freedom He has on the other side is always worth it.
The theme of plumbline week was to break down the walls of our hearts that we have built up, in order to allow Him to come in, bring healing, and make our hearts accessible again, because when we build up walls around our hearts, we close ourselves off from others, and make it difficult for the truth and reality of God's love to tranfer from our head, into our heart. However, when I'm willing to let go, and let Him in, He is always faithful to come and draw me close to Himself.
One assignment we had during our Plumbline week, was to write a letter to God, our heavenly Father, and hear His response back to us..we then shared our letters with each other. The purpose was to get a deeper understanding of God's love for us, and how He sees us. Here is mine:
"Daddy,
Please help me. I need you..I am desperate for you. I know you're the only one who brings healing and restoration, and even though I'm terrified of what that process looks like, I'm exhausted from running away from it.
I want to lay down, and let go...convince my heart that you will carry me; that what you have on the other side is so much better..so good, that it's worth any pain it will take to there. I'm terrified of letting people in- sometimes, of letting you in. Afraid of rejection, of being unloved, afraid of hearts closed off, and faces turned away..or maybe more - so afraid of being loved with a love that I have no control over.
I'm tired of trying so hard, it's so exhausting. Wearing myself out to get love and approval..I hate it. I just want you to be pleased with me..for others to be pleased with what they see. Why do I think I have to earn your affection and approval? ..I need you.
I need you to come in with your truth, to convince my heart again, of reality..That I am not a mistake,..that you want me..that you have always wanted me. That you won't leave me, that you are pleased with me..that it's okay to let emotions in and out..to let others in..to let you in.
Convince my heart that you love me deeply, perfectly, and always will. That it's okay to let go, to let you break down the walls of my heart so that you can make me whole again.."
"Beloved, Precious, Baby Girl,
I see you. I love you..all the pain you carry is not to heavy or too big for me to take. I want to take it and carry it so you can walk light again. I will carry you.
I'm the only one who can heal your heart, but only if you'll let me. I promise- your fears, I see them. I understand, but I need you to trust me, because I only ever have good things for you..the very best, even though at times, it can feel like the most hard and painful thing imaginable
Remember that it's only when you let go and let me come and carry you, that you can rest in my arms. When you trust me to lead you, you can relax, and I will make it effortless, so you don't have to strive so hard. It is then, that the dance becomes beautiful.
I love you deeper than you can imagine. I have always wanted you. I will never leave, never change.
Nothing you could do or fail to do, will make me love you less. The things I have for you are so much better than anything you could imagine for yourself.
Run to me, rest in my love, for I will never fail you. You are my Beloved."
God is so loving and faithful to meet me in the place I'm in. And He is still working! I can't wait for what more He is going to be doing in the weeks to come =)
I hope that this is an encouragement to someone today <3 Being real, brings healing!
May you be encouraged by the relentless love of God for you!
Blessings,
Cayla
In this drama that we learned (called the Everything Drama) the story plays out as a girl is created by Jesus, and He teaches her of His love for her, His delight in her, and He shows her the wonderful He has prepared for her. She follows in His steps, and is lost in His love..but she follows the temptations the world has to offer, and leaves Jesus to go after other things that she thinks will fulfill her life..such as relationships, money, drinking, cutting, the perfect image, etc. Until she is pushed to the point of suicide, and she throws the gun away and runs after Jesus..and He comes in and saves her!
He is so awesome!
We also had a week called "Plumbline". That was a rough week, but God was so faithful to show up, and help me be surrendered. He is so gentle with our hearts, and He never gives us anything that is too much for us to take. Though the process of healing and vulnerability may be so painful and scary, the freedom He has on the other side is always worth it.
The theme of plumbline week was to break down the walls of our hearts that we have built up, in order to allow Him to come in, bring healing, and make our hearts accessible again, because when we build up walls around our hearts, we close ourselves off from others, and make it difficult for the truth and reality of God's love to tranfer from our head, into our heart. However, when I'm willing to let go, and let Him in, He is always faithful to come and draw me close to Himself.
One assignment we had during our Plumbline week, was to write a letter to God, our heavenly Father, and hear His response back to us..we then shared our letters with each other. The purpose was to get a deeper understanding of God's love for us, and how He sees us. Here is mine:
Please help me. I need you..I am desperate for you. I know you're the only one who brings healing and restoration, and even though I'm terrified of what that process looks like, I'm exhausted from running away from it.
I want to lay down, and let go...convince my heart that you will carry me; that what you have on the other side is so much better..so good, that it's worth any pain it will take to there. I'm terrified of letting people in- sometimes, of letting you in. Afraid of rejection, of being unloved, afraid of hearts closed off, and faces turned away..or maybe more - so afraid of being loved with a love that I have no control over.
I'm tired of trying so hard, it's so exhausting. Wearing myself out to get love and approval..I hate it. I just want you to be pleased with me..for others to be pleased with what they see. Why do I think I have to earn your affection and approval? ..I need you.
I need you to come in with your truth, to convince my heart again, of reality..That I am not a mistake,..that you want me..that you have always wanted me. That you won't leave me, that you are pleased with me..that it's okay to let emotions in and out..to let others in..to let you in.
Convince my heart that you love me deeply, perfectly, and always will. That it's okay to let go, to let you break down the walls of my heart so that you can make me whole again.."
"Beloved, Precious, Baby Girl,
I see you. I love you..all the pain you carry is not to heavy or too big for me to take. I want to take it and carry it so you can walk light again. I will carry you.
I'm the only one who can heal your heart, but only if you'll let me. I promise- your fears, I see them. I understand, but I need you to trust me, because I only ever have good things for you..the very best, even though at times, it can feel like the most hard and painful thing imaginable
Remember that it's only when you let go and let me come and carry you, that you can rest in my arms. When you trust me to lead you, you can relax, and I will make it effortless, so you don't have to strive so hard. It is then, that the dance becomes beautiful.
I love you deeper than you can imagine. I have always wanted you. I will never leave, never change.
Nothing you could do or fail to do, will make me love you less. The things I have for you are so much better than anything you could imagine for yourself.
Run to me, rest in my love, for I will never fail you. You are my Beloved."
God is so loving and faithful to meet me in the place I'm in. And He is still working! I can't wait for what more He is going to be doing in the weeks to come =)
I hope that this is an encouragement to someone today <3 Being real, brings healing!
May you be encouraged by the relentless love of God for you!
Blessings,
Cayla
Thanks for being so vulnerable and for sharing your heart so honestly. You are truly loved and adored!
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